Me and the ocean: Love at first sight. A quote from an unknown source so I can not take credit but it does seem fitting! I need the ocean…No I don’t need a vacation, I don’t need time away from this hell hole of a place called Fort Hood, need two things.. I need either to go back to Hawaii or get out of the Army and move back home. I miss being 20 minutes away from the beach, the ability to change from my ACU’s to a a pair of flip flops, tank and board shorts and embrace the sun, salt and the smell of the ocean. have you ever smelled the beach. The salt in the air. The most amazing feeling in the world is the way my skin feels at the beach. It’s a combination of dried salt and sand. It’s the best exfoliator and no moisturizer or makeup can give any chick the color the sun gives your face after a day at the beach. Florida is great. But Hawaii is awesome. I have to say if you want to experience heaven on earth, go to Hawaii. There is no place better on this entire earth. If you for one minute you doubt God or his creation of the earth. Go to Hawaii. This place is magnificent. I regret being so focused on everything else while I was there and not appreciating what I had right around me. I finally after 2 years realized the problem with my life, a huge factor of why I am so miserable here. It wasn’t the ex, it wasn’t the mass of alcohol or opiates I was taking here, those just made me fill the void. Plus opiates feel good. While my shrink believes it’s abandonment issues, avoidance personality and everything else, I could have saved Tri Care about 100k in going to impatient, seeking therapists and the many shrinks trying to tell me what my issue was and told them my issue is Fort Hood. No not Texas. As much as I love the ghettofab cars that have rims worth more than the cars itself, fat Army wives with hot husbands or seeing that chick use food stamps with her Coach purse I really don’t l like Texass No the reason is I’m like a fish out of water..I’m far from the ocean. The beach. The whole concept of what is wrapped up in the beach. The beach is not a place. The ocean is not an object. It’s a lifestyle. I want to be in a place where it’s acceptable to wear flip flops in 7-11. Where keeping a beach chair in the trunk at all times is perfectly normal. I want to live in a place where the beach isn’t a Saturday or weekend event, but instead someplace you go after work to see your dog’s run .freely You would have to be a cold and mentally unstable person not to find happiness in watching a dog run full force alongside the waves crashing on the shore. Did you know dogs can smile. I can prove this theory by having you bring your dog off the leash to a beach. I could not express in words in a blog, how happy the beach makes me. There are lakes, there are rivers but it’s nothing in comparison to the ocean. Trying to compare the ocean to a lake is like saying Godiva chocolate is the same as the cheap Easter chocolate bunnies you buy. There is no comparison. This is the first time in 25 years I have lived so far away from the beach. Growing up going to the beach was something we did. If we weren’t at the beach we were out in my dad’s boat, finding secluded little islands with hermit crabs and coconuts. There is nothing better than your hair being tangled by the wind or seeing dolphins play. You can go to Sea World and see dolphins and manatees. But the experience of seeing a family of dolphins swim and jump in the ocean is Gods kiss on the water. It’s amazing. The love of the ocean is one more issue I can blame on my parents, one more thing my therapist can psychoanalyze me and narrow to why I’m still single. My dad grew up with his siblings at Old Orchard beach then heading out to California. All the old photos of my dad is that blond hair blue eye California guy. While I was born in Maine, we moved to Florida when I was so young that it would only make sense I would have grown up with one more addiction…The ocean. So my point is this. I know my long term answer to my life is being closer to the ocean. Whether God directs me to go home or back to Hawaii there is no other option. I cannot possibly live another year away from the ocean. While I know deep down in my heart where I want to go and where I want my life to be, I am okay with either of the options Yes going to Florida would mean I’m out of the Army but does being in the Army make me happier than being home or near the ocean. Absolutely not. On the other hand would going back to Hawaii be the best thing for me. At this moment there is no doubt in my mind, Hawaii would be the best thing for me. Not only would I be able to keep this adventure I call the Army, I would be close to my Best Friend. The idea of being a phone call away from her is more than I can imagine. However, scary that two insane chicks are in the same zip code. But I would also be in the one place that i love more than being home. But the ability to go back to Hawaii is me being selfish. I’m unsure where God wants me, I want to be in Hawaii because it seems like everything would be right for my life. But 2 1/2 years ago I thought Fort Hood was the right choice. Gosh was I ever wrong. Until Next Time