This is quite an accurate description. If you know me than you know I do everything with impulse. I was sitting charging my phone and started thinking how I need to start a completely transparent blog but not linked to me. Grant you this blog is generic but there are friends and family that have this address from when I linked to FB. My other blog as well. As I was thinking that this blog crossed my mind, and I started thinking how much time it’s been since the ex and I last saw one another. It was the week of his birthday.
The morning before I saw him, he texted me how he wasn’t in love with me…. He was no longer attracted to me (he said this because he knew where to hurt me) how I need to move on and “get over him”, he was done and the same Lines and texts minus the attracted part!!! The ex is the ONLY MAN I have ever met that can be in love with someone one day and not the next. The ex-emotions change with whatever woman is giving him his fuel. I’m not getting into explaining the whole narcissist fuel again. Somehow 25 hours after that text the ex wants to go out and celebrate his birthday. This is what a selfish, manipulative, narcissist evil man The ex is…. After telling me just 24 hours before and now suddenly the ex is suddenly attracted and wants to spend time with someone he’s trying to convince himself he didn’t want to be with. The ex-wanted to get one more stab into my heart and use me because the ex was lonely.
I admit I was stupid to put up with the ex for so long. There is so much that was said and done between the ex and I that I could write a book.
But the point isn’t the fact The ex-wanted to get one last knife to my heart this wasn’t the “last” time I saw him but the last time we spent any time together. I saw him the night before he left for Missouri. The entire time though I kept thinking this was it between us. I didn’t even know if he planned to come back. On the other hand, I thought it would be a healthy break for the ex and I. I didn’t know then that there were so many Lies.
I held the ex to a higher standard. Never in my life did I think the ex would end things the way he did.
I never thought the ex and I would get to the point where we were at least friends or cordial. But this is what narcissists do. The ex-needed his final discard. The ex-did not care about my feelings or emotions. The ex-wasn’t thinking that his actions were cruel and sadistic. A fucking text. I meant so little to the ex the same man who professed his undying love to a room full of people didn’t care enough to rationally pick up the phone and talk liked adults.
This is the part that I cannot ever convey in a blog. The ex-telling me he was done and so on the final time didn’t faze me. The ex-told me that so many times only to call, text or show up at my door s day later. It had gotten to the point I was used to it. This was a part of our relationship. I mean How fucked am I to allow and be okay with that?
But he never did…in fact not only did I never see, hear or speak to him since then. He blocked my number. Of course, I blew up his phone with texts (because The ex-refused to answer or acknowledge me) but I reacted how any person in a serious relationship would. I think because the holidays are coming up, the ex is on my mind more.
But it I hate him. I hate the ex-more than I have anyone else. Sure, I’d love to stop hating and not be angry about everything. I’d also love to have answers to all of the ex lies. The one lie that really gets me is the ex-telling me he had to put wood floors in his rental house. To tear the carpet up. The ex and I had a conversation about it. The ex is a fucking pathological liar. The house had wood floors.
I probably won’t ever get answers from the ex or know the details of all his lies and deceit. Trust me I want to let go and the hatred and anger I have for The ex to be gone. The physical toll it’s taken.
I truly hope these blogs help the next woman, man or transvestite. I wish I had known the ex was not the man he portrayed when we first met. While I hope maybe someone is saved from the ex and his path of narcissist evil, I know there isn’t someone. The ex-shows his true colors quick, I had my own issues that I didn’t run the other direction when I saw The ex-red flags.
So here we are.