Had I known taking the job there and meeting ex would have so much detrimental impacts on my life I would have never gone. I guess it had to happen to bring me here still….. I need to move on. Why is this still causing me so much hurt ?? I thought leaving there would heal all hurt alas I was simply wrong. I reacted really bad and probably should have done a lot of things differently but I think I kinda knew all along he was done. He was so incredibly cruel and I don’t know why I continue to glamorize the relationship. The exwas so cruel and abusive. The belittling and constant mind games not to mention the lies. Maybe that’s it. Not knowing and lack of closure?? I’m fucking here bc of him and maybe since I’m not sure how I feel about being Here yet I am sad over him still? I’m in the most beautiful place in the world and still sad.