It’s been so much time and yet it still bothers me, not as much as it did when it first happened, but it still does. I was foolish to think I would get an apology or at least an explanation. The truth? The ex would never tell me the truth because he is a spineless poor excuse for a human being. I realize not all people are good or have good intentions, The ex is one of those people. I wonder if he is still living his pathetic excuse for a life. Has he moved on to his next victim that will feed his egotistical narcissistic fuel? Does he tell him/her how they should have met 20 years ago? Why they weren’t together in Hawaii? Does he lie and spew his manipulation? Telling her not to wear make-up, give up her/his dog and move in after mere weeks?

Christmas was fucking hard. Even with all the distractions of the move. Here I am. I am only here because the ex-wanted to come back here. Never in a million fucking years did I think I would get an interview, let alone a job offer. Ha jokes on me I guess, because here I am.

I am happy to be back here, although I wonder if the ex and I would have come here together would it have helped/ Probably not because I would have never been able to fulfill the ex-long list of sexual fantasies or kinks. For one I never wanted to fuck a trans gendered man, that was the ex-things not mine.

I can’t say anymore if it’s the last I have heard from the ex. My ex before him reached out just a few weeks ago, and I never thought we would ever speak again. It’s funny I can honestly look back and say I nowhere near loved him as much as I loved the ex. It was almost too much the love I had for the ex. That “something” we had. I used to think you only fell in love once in your life, and that once is who you settle down with. I no longer believe that. I believe you do love just once but not everything goes as planned. It’s hard to explain. Maybe in a parallel universe, or another life but there was something between the ex and I that I have never felt with anyone. There was so much electricity or attraction, idk the word I’m looking for. But the ex-literally made every one of my never endings sparks when he touched me. Nobody in all my years has done that.

But then he was done. I WAS foolish to think anything the ex said was even close to the truth. Lies and more lies. The ex fucked anyone who gave him the time of day, knowing I would never find out. The ex-wanted to belittle me and have me submit to him so he could manipulate me into thinking all our issues were my fault. God know what the ex was doing on all his trips. As I have previously written, it would not surprise me in the least bit if the ex was a pedophile or involved in some sort of child porn. His Daddy Daughter fantasy was beyond the typical bedroom kink. The ex-tried to tell me incest was normal, and it was typical for a dad and Daughter to have sex? I wish I was making that up. Although not in those exact words, but essentially how incest was normal. There were times The ex would ask if my dad had molested me, I of course shut that right down. Truth be known, I honestly would worry if I ever ended up having a daughter with him that he would end up molesting her. I sure the fuck would not date the ex if I already had a young daughter. But none of that matters anymore.